Wednesday, 20 November 2013

EVE Dreams: Installment 1

EVE IS REAL: Playing Video Games Before Sleeping Is Bad Mkay

Watching TV or playing video games tends to leave deep visual impressions on the mind which surface when we sleep and our imaginations fire up. It is hardly surprising that EVE players, particularly the kind who stay up for Ops well past their "usual" bed time, experience some highly amusing EVE dreams.

My colleague had some particularly excitable episodes where he would shout to his girlfriend for "LOGIS ANCHOR UP!" and for "REPS ON MAX!". I admit I have had one instance where I called for "Fleet jump jump," much to the amusement of other people.

As they come along or other people share their dreams with me, I will publish installments of EVE Dreams. I have two for today. Perhaps if anyone reading this is a psychoanalyst they can do the honours of interpreting our screwed up psychoses.

The Galleon: Moros With 6 Guns

I dreamt that a team I was in had won an EVE PVP tournament but in the final battle I was the only player left. I wasted the last three ships and won the tournament. My prize was to assist CCP in the design of two new ships, one a Blood Raider style flagship of doom but the other was a golden plated Moros that had 6 gunslots.

Said Moros was classed as The Galleon and gifted to me. Additionally it had the role bonus of 50% reduced siege time and strontium clathrate consumption.

I lost The Galleon after undocking it into a surprise station camp. Client lagged and in those crucial seconds, artillery fit Naglfars instavolleyed my ship.

The Avatar While Playing EVE in the Real World

I have never really aspired to be a titan pilot or owner of the ship itself but perhaps deep in my brain is a subdued desire to have a titan and be able to hotdrop on hapless victims at will and experience the butt-clenching tension of flying a titan in a combat situation.

I dreamt that EVE was a game played in the real world. I owned an Avatar but had no POS to store it. I kept my Avatar cloaked in a variety of locations ranging from the Himalayas to rainforests and finally in the sea. Each time I was pursued by a Raven which would fire cruise missiles randomly. Each time I would move the titan. Finally, in the ocean I was confronted by two boys as I stood on the beach (in such an instance of EVE IS REAL game, the player controls his ship by looking at it). They saw me looking into the ocean and remarked that they knew my Avatar was cloaked in the waters and they would find it. And so both of them used their Ravens began firing missiles to locate me.

I warped the Avatar into my locker where I had prepared a mini POS, just a simple shield with some Dickstar ECM batteries. However due to the size of the Avatar, the locker door would not close. Forcing it shut and padlocking it, I went away. When I returned, it was wide open, POS and Avatar both heisted.

Conclusions:

- Deep hatred of carebears exemplified in the Raven
- Deep emotional scars from using cloaky ships
- Fear of slow and unmanouvrable ships such as the titan
- Desire for glory in combat
- Desire for shiny dreadnoughts
- Fear of POSes
- Frustration with client lag
- Arty Nags?

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